Chuck Norris Fact of the Day 07/07/08

Posted on July 7th, 2008 by Shortshire.
Categories: Chuck Norris.

The last man who made eye contact with Chuck Norris was Ray Charles.

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Christopher Walken Quote of the Day 7/1/08

Posted on July 1st, 2008 by admin.
Categories: Christopher Walken.

“What part of “sudden death” didn’t you understand?” - Christopher Walken

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Chuck Norris Fact of the Day 07/01/08

Posted on July 1st, 2008 by Shortshire.
Categories: Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris took Mother Nature from behind. We refer to the event as the Big Bang.

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Chuck Norris Fact of the Day 06/30/08

Posted on June 30th, 2008 by Shortshire.
Categories: Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris won ‘Jumanji’ without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.

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Harrison Ford Quote of the Day 06/26/08

Posted on June 26th, 2008 by admin.
Categories: Harrison Ford.

“Peace isn’t merely the absence of conflict, but the presence of justice.” - Harrison Ford

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Christopher Walken Quote of the Day 6/26/08

Posted on June 26th, 2008 by admin.
Categories: Christopher Walken.

“I feel like a little boy who’s lost his first tooth, put it under his pillow, waiting for the tooth-fairy to come. Only two evil burglars have crept in my window, and snatched it, before she could get here… Wait a second, do you understand the CONCEPT of the tooth-fairy? Explain it to them… Wait. She takes the god damned thing, and gives you a quarter. They’ve got my tooth. I want it back.” - Christopher Walken

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Neil Patrick Harris Quote of the Day 6/26/06

Posted on June 26th, 2008 by Shortshire.
Categories: Neil Patrick Harris.

CANADIAN P0-rn! Trust me when I tell you their universal health care system doesn’t cover breast implants. If I have to sit through one more flat-chested Nova Scotian riding a Mountie on the back of a Zamboni, I’ll go OOT of my mind.

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Chuck Norris Fact of the Day 06/26/08

Posted on June 26th, 2008 by Shortshire.
Categories: Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

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Chuck Norris Fact of the Day 06/24/08

Posted on June 24th, 2008 by Shortshire.
Categories: Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by beta testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked about this “glitch”, Norris replied, “That’s no glitch”.

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Funny Lists - Bathroom Lingo

Posted on June 24th, 2008 by admin.
Categories: Funny Lists.

I’m taking the Browns to the Superbowl.

I’ve got to drain the main vain.

I gotta pinch off a loaf.

Poopin’ is my business and business is good.

I dropping the kids off at the pool.

I’m going to update the captain’s log.

I’ve got to conduct a movement.

I’m gonna go lose 5 lbs.

It’s time to bomb the tidy bowl man.

I’m gonna introduce the toilet to the bald man with the cigar.

 

 

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