Chuck Norris Fact of the Day 06/26/08

Posted on June 26th, 2008 by Shortshire.
Categories: Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

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Chuck Norris Fact of the Day 06/24/08

Posted on June 24th, 2008 by Shortshire.
Categories: Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by beta testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked about this “glitch”, Norris replied, “That’s no glitch”.

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Funny Lists - Bathroom Lingo

Posted on June 24th, 2008 by admin.
Categories: Funny Lists.

I’m taking the Browns to the Superbowl.

I’ve got to drain the main vain.

I gotta pinch off a loaf.

Poopin’ is my business and business is good.

I dropping the kids off at the pool.

I’m going to update the captain’s log.

I’ve got to conduct a movement.

I’m gonna go lose 5 lbs.

It’s time to bomb the tidy bowl man.

I’m gonna introduce the toilet to the bald man with the cigar.

 

 

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Harrison Ford Quote of the Day 6/24/08

Posted on June 24th, 2008 by admin.
Categories: Harrison Ford.

“If I go down you’re coming with me.” - Harrison Ford

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Christopher Walken Quote of the Day 6/24/08

Posted on June 24th, 2008 by admin.
Categories: Christopher Walken.

“That’s a lot of cows.” - Christopher Walken

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Chuck Norris Fact of the Day 06/22/08

Posted on June 22nd, 2008 by Shortshire.
Categories: Chuck Norris.

Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

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Harrison Ford Quote of the Day 6/22/08

Posted on June 21st, 2008 by admin.
Categories: Harrison Ford.

“It wasn’t me. It was the one armed man.” - Harrison Ford

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Christopher Walken Quote of the Day 6/22/08

Posted on June 21st, 2008 by admin.
Categories: Christopher Walken.

“The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He’d be damned if any slopes gonna put their greasy yellow hands on his boy’s birthright, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.” - Christopher Walken

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Chuck Norris Fact of the Day 06/21/08

Posted on June 21st, 2008 by Shortshire.
Categories: Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris went to college on an affirmative-action scholarship.

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Chuck Norris Fact of the Day 06/20/08

Posted on June 20th, 2008 by Shortshire.
Categories: Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris went to college on an affirmative-action scholarship.  Nobody objected.

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